Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
