My Higher Power is John Stamos
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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