Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
