I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
