This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
