Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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