Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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