who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
