remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You have to summon your inner elephant
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
