I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
