What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
