Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
