I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
