I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
