You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
