He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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