THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
