I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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