Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
