My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
