You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
