i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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