I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
