why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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