The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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