Banned from zoo.
Again?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
