That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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