if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if only i could text you this smell
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize