I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just fell off a train. Bad.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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