Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
