Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
