"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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