girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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