i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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