I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
