Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
