I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize