I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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