i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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