I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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