The maid of honor just puked.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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