i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
