remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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