I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize