He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
