i would punch a child for taco bell
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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