Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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