Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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