He uses pillows to masturbate.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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