Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
