final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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