Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize