Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
