He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
