Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
