He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
