Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
