Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
