I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
nutella sex= disaster
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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