I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
