when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
