I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
